Infinite Undiscovery - Infinitely Unimpressed

Sup,

The last RPG I played properly was Eternal Sonata on the XBox360. That was ages ago, and I loved it. So when I went into town thinking to myself, 'Hey, you now what, I might buy an RPG today', I thought that a game by RPG legend 'SquareEnix' would just do the trick.

Oh how wrong I was.

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm all for trying something new, I really am, but... nah... just nah... It was one of the few times that I've been suckered in by pretty box art, and a recommendation from the shopkeep.

In a nutshell: The 'Order of Chains' are evil and for some reason they have chained the moon to the Earth. Some pansy called Capelle has been imprisoned by the Order because he bears a remarkable resemblance to the leader of the rebellion, whose name I forget. Capelle also plays the flute (which has magic qualities), and is quite good at using a sword. You are rescued from prison by this lass from the rebellion because shes dumb and can't tell the difference between you and the rebel leader, a person whom she is close to. She is thick.

When I think of games I've played, and enjoyed, in the past, I've always had my attention grabbed from the word go. And that's what a game should do, from the second you press start you should not want to put the controller down. Let me think, what games have done this... Bioshock, Prey, Okami, Morrowind, Ocarina of Time, Final Fantasy, Skies of Arcadia, to name but-a-seven.

For example...

• Bioshock (360): you survive a plane crash in the middle of the ocean, only to discover an underwater city... within the first 10 minutes of gameplay...

• Prey (PC): After bludgeoning two drunks with a wrench, you, your grandfather, your girlfriend, and your pub are abducted by aliens... within the first 10 minutes of gameplay..

• Skies of Arcadia (DC): You and your band of 'air pirates' attack and board a flying air ship, only to be attacked by a giant mechanical bull... within the first 10 minutes of gameplay...

In the first 10 minutes of Infinite Undiscovery, I sat through some god awful cut-scene, only to be given some bat-shit stupid battle system explanation, then i get chased up some stairs by an oger with dumb woman getting in the way and helping me to fall to the floor dead every second.

Just nah.

On my way to the first village I'm attacked by a dragon. No explanation as to why I'm being attacked mind, I'm just being attacked and knocked down before I have a chance to get up on my feet. Annoyance.

So I get to the first village and I'm met by those god damn token annoying kids that every RPG seems to have these days. I didn't play for much longer. After the first dungeon I was all done with this game. No more. Swiftly traded it in for Chrome Hounds, some mecha game i've not got round to playing yet.

This game is shocking. The graphics are bad, the dubbing is horrific and the gameplay is fucking balls. Just don't, your money is better spent on used bin liners.

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